Eddie the Eagle: Mini-review


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Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman is a much better actor than a ski jumping coach

CIn an odd bit of cinematic yin and yang, one week after Race, a movie about perhaps the best Olympic athlete of all time, arrives in the theaters, another movie about perhaps the worst ever Olympian makes its début. But while Race at least attempts to accurately portray Jesse Owens’ Olympic quest, Eddie the Eagle flies far away from the actual life story of British ski jumper “Eddie the Eagle” Edwards and makes a critical crash landing as a result. 

Taron Egerton plays Edwards, who became a celebrity for finishing dead last in ski jumping for Great Britain in the 1988 Winter Olympics. In Eddie the Eagle, Edwards is depicted as an almost completely untalented klutz with an enormous desire to become an Olympian. With no coach, no experience, and no money, he goes to a training facility in Germany, where he eventually attracts the attention of Bronson Peary (Hugh Jackman), a washed-up, alcoholic, former Olympian who agrees to train Edwards.

The real life Eddie the Eagle was a moderately talented amateur athlete who simply wasn’t of Olympic caliber, except by qualifying in an event in which Britain hadn’t competed in over 50 years. That story endeared him to his countrymen and the Olympic crowds, but it apparently wasn’t sensational enough for director Dexter Fletcher and his screenwriters. Instead, they transform Edwards into a hapless buffoon who stands on top of a moving minivan and mentally prepares himself for his jumps by fantasizing about having sex with Bo Derek. By scrapping Edwards’ life story (and completely inventing the character of Peary), the filmmakers turn Eddie the Eagle into an English version of The Bad News Bears. Sadly, the endless clichés detract from the real drama in the film, the prospect that Edwards could break his neck at any time. Fletcher does manage to make that point, thanks to some often spectacular ski jumping footage and stunt work. Fortunately, the movie does capture Edwards’ natural charisma, thanks to a winning performance by Taron Egerton. In addition, Christopher Walken adds some badly needed dramatic weight when he shows up in a surprisingly subdued and effective last act cameo as Peary’s former coach. But all the acting talent and amazing camera work in the world can’t overcome a completely formulaic, poorly executed story. In the moviemaking Olympics, this bad plot form costs Eddie the Eagle any chance at a medal.     
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Pan: Mini-review


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Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman’s career may have walked the plank in Pan

D+It’s a good thing that the movie Pan wasn’t around some 100 odd years ago when J.M. Barrie started writing his immortal children’s classic, Peter PanBecause, if it were, it’s a sure bet that Barrie would have rather lost an encounter with a crocodile than have his name associated with such an ill-conceived and poorly executed work.

Of course, Barrie did write Peter Pan, and it rightfully assumed its place as a classic of children’s literature which, now that it’s in the public domain, affords anyone, including director Joe Wright and screenwriter Jason Fuchs, free rein to reimagine it as they will. And, for whatever reason, they came up with Pan, a prequel that shows how young Peter (Levi Miller) arrived in Neverland from a World War II London orphanage onboard a flying pirate ship. Neverland is under the control of Blackbeard (Hugh Jackman), who kidnaps people from the real world and puts them to work mining fairy dust, which keeps him alive. When Blackbeard finds the source of the fairy dust, Peter tries to stop him, with the help of two new friends, a not-yet one-handed James Hook (Garrett Hedlund) and Princess Tiger Lily (Rooney Mara).

Pan‘s screenplay is ridiculously convoluted and manages to drain all the magic from the original story. Instead, the film alternates between surprising gruesomeness (boys are forced to walk the plank on a flying pirate ship and fall hundreds of feet to their deaths) and complete silliness (those who don’t walk the plank sing 80’s rock tunes). That  inconsistent tone extends to the characterizations, as Jackman can’t decide whether to play his role as a foppish buffoon or a sadistic lecher. In addition, both Hedlund, who often contorts his face as if he has a bone in his throat, and the lily-white Mara, as the non-white Lily, are badly miscast. The only worthwhile feature of Pan is the lavish production design. Unfortunately, once the flying pirate ships and other onscreen objects start moving, the effect is acutely headache inducing, as each shot seems designed solely to maximize the 3D effect. As a result, the long, drawn out action scenes are almost impossible to follow. Eventually, Peter does learn how to fly, but, as a film, Pan sinks quickly to the bottom of Mermaid Lagoon.
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Chappie: Mini-Review


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Hugh Jackman

Hugh Jackman is stuck in a thankless role in Chappie

C-In 2009, writer/director Neill Blomkamp dazzled the movie world with his innovative science fiction tale, District 9. Sadly, the only people who will be dazzled by his latest film, Chappie, are those too young to remember the two 1980s films Chappie shamelessly rips off: Robocop and Short Circuit

Chappie is set in the Johannesburg of the near future, a city under siege by armies of highly armed street gangs. In desperation, the police turn to dozens of humanoid robotic cops provided by corporate bigwig Michelle Bradley (Sigourney Weaver). One of her developers, Deon Wilson (Dev Patel) manages to add highly advanced artificial intelligence programming to a damaged robot. The robot, now called Chappie, winds up in the hands of one of the gangs, which then uses Chappie (voiced by Sharlto Copley) to help pull off robberies. Although Chappie has developed a conscience (as have a couple of the gang members), his criminal exploits put him on a collision course with Deon’s colleague Vincent Moore (Hugh Jackman), whose own law enforcement robot, the Moose, is a giant armored killing machine.

From a technical standpoint, the effects work in Chappie is amazing, especially considering the film’s relatively modest budget. However, the plot has about as many holes in it as some of the people the Moose blasts to bits. The worst flaw in the screenplay is the ease with which the gang members turn into nice people the moment they see Chappie come alive. Chappie himself is as annoyingly fidgety as C3PO and sounds like Jar Jar Binks with a South African accent. Chappie’s antics are occasionally amusing, especially when he starts adopting gangsta mannerisms, but those most easily amused will be children who probably won’t get to see the movie because of its R-rating. 
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