same time, facilities storing bull semen are being destroyed as well, and, eventually, a worldwide shortage of beef results. (Similar fates befall pigs and sheep.)

The villains are a trio of agents with the imaginative names of Manny, Moe, and Jack (the founders of Pep Boys). They are crude, unfamiliar with English, and resemble a cross between Boris Badenov and the agents in Mad magazine’s “Spy vs. Spy” cartoons. Their leader is a beautiful woman named Angelica, who shares their incomplete grasp of English. She sits next to Harlan on his train ride back to Washington from Pennsylvania Dutch country and starts a conversation. It takes readers about two seconds to figure out she’s one of the bad guys.

I was intrigued by the premise of Tick… Tick… Tick… and how the book’s first few chapters played out. One of Stone’s fellow agents soon guesses that the bull sterilizations are the work of eco-terrorists seeking an extreme remedy for climate change (methane gasses emitted by domestic animals are a major contributor to the problem we face). I dismissed the idea as preposterous and looked for a more traditionally criminal solution. How wrong I was. Anjelica and her cohorts engineered the mass sterilizations. Further, that was only the first phase of their master plan. The author reveals that master plan on page 135 of a 300-page book. That’s also where Tick… Tick… Tick… jumps the shark. In one brief chapter, the novel morphs from being an outlandish thriller to completely ridiculous nonsense.

The author glosses over the aftermath of the loss of domestic animals with only a few sentences regarding the consequences (beef prices skyrocketed). In reality, if such an event occurred, there would be mass panic and demands for action, but most people go along here. (Later, when more severe consequences occur, that same laissez-faire public attitude persists.) The author also avoids the need to provide many details about the aftermath of the mass sterilizations or the government’s investigation by having Harlan and Angelica go off to his cabin in the woods for a couple of months to get away from it all.

Eventually, Angelica describes the villains’ master plan to Harlan, who then relays it to the President. The worst part of this revelation isn’t how ridiculous the plan is; it’s how little sense it makes. The villains are trying to reverse the factors leading to climate change by rather harsh means. However, their ultimate revelation, as explained by Angelica, makes little sense. Their motive relies on a barely explained McGuffin. Further, as Harlan and his fellow operatives prepare to take action, Angelica’s description of the villains’ skills, technological capabilities, and strategy also changes. The book reminded me of a Boy Scout campfire story, where one Scout tells a lengthy, convoluted story and keeps changing the facts as needed to keep the story going.

Tick… Tick… Tick… also falls apart as an espionage thriller as it goes along. The book has only about a dozen characters who handle all the planning that goes on to thwart the villains’ scheme. These are primarily mid-level bureaucrats and field agents like Harlan. (Members of Congress and the President’s cabinet are nowhere to be found.) The book also gets incredibly talky and short on action. At one point, Harlan discusses at great length the feasibility of pulling off a dangerous prisoner extraction from Russia. In the next chapter, the author describes the actual prison break in two sentences. The author wasted the chance to enliven the story with the type of suspenseful action standard in this genre.

My biggest problem with Tick… Tick… Tick… is that it trivializes a significant world problem. Instead of discussing the seriousness of climate change or demonstrating the potential consequences, if left unchecked, the author creates a preposterous scenario that readers will immediately dismiss. The author obviously feels strongly about the issue, but I doubt this book will change anybody’s mind. Further, it fails as a standard espionage thriller as well. I enjoyed some of the author’s humor and side references (such as naming the hero after World War II U.S. Chief Justice Harlan Fiske Stone), but these entertaining moments make the book’s ultimate failure much more frustrating. The author may have meant this book as an alarm clock for people to take climate change more seriously; if so, the clock breaks down very early in the story.

NOTE: The publisher graciously provided me with a copy of this book through BookSirens. However, the decision to review the book and the contents of this review are entirely my own.